An Nisaa - I am Woman

This was taken on 31 July 2010 in Singapore. At that time I hadn't thought of writing this, though the label always reminds me of Papak

On the beach in PD. This is as casual as he gets.

The Reach Org logo on its founder

That’s it...I’m hooked. I’m totally hooked.  I still can’t figure out what it is exactly that excites me and drives me to this state of becoming passionate about Reach Org and this new found activity.
 

Pete in a serious mood, telling me about the harsh realities of street living and people. Pic by Jeff

Walking alongside Pete with his "chota" and army boots, I'm not afraid of any big, bad wolf that might pounce on me!

Me in the Reach Org tee. Pic by Jeff Orr

Amin, an Iranian medical student and dedicated volunteer and Jaja, boisterous and most hardworking Team Leader

Who wouldn't like working with a happy bunch of people like these?		From left, Jeff, N, Chik, Zahida and Pete

Above, me and Datin Sury, co-founder and Director. Below, Naomi and Ash

I'm exactly 47 years and one month old today. That's approximately 17,195 days, and not a single day of these had I been short of anything to eat. I have been so very lucky, and blessed, that there had always been more than enough to eat, whether at home or anywhere else. Unless when I was fasting, I had never been hungry for more than a few hours.

Until lately, I have also never known or been anywhere close to anyone who has had to go hungry because of poverty and destitution. I'm certainly not proud of this... in fact, I'm terribly annoyed and ashamed of myself for being so ignorant and oblivious to the fact that hunger and starvation aren't happenings limited to war and drought-stricken countries. They are right here in Malaysia too!

This is no exaggeration nor attempt to sensationalise: there are thousands - possibly tens of thousands of people, urban and rural - who are starving and under-nourished in Malaysia in this `modern and progressive' day and age!

Meeting and knowing some of these people have made me realize how extravagant and superfluous my life has been - at least where food and my eating habits are concerned. Since knowing personally for the first time of a person who has had to go without food for days, I have been very conscious, and repulsive, of food in extravagant abundance. In this month of Ramadhan especially, I cringe when I see, hear or read about the food bazaars. People proudly show and tell of the feast they have devoured at buka puasa. No, I am not looking down with a holier-than-thou or superior attitude for I myself have been guilty of this. And I remember with remorse, shame and utter disgust all the past years that I had self-defeated the true purpose of fasting and the fasting month.

Nowadays, I'm ridden with guilt and shame when I eat more than I need to. But changing a long-time habit of more than 40 years is not an easy task. However, at the very least, I try to remember and think of the many, many others who are hungry and starving, and say a doa' for them for their sufferings to end soon. It has also been easier for me to fulfill the non-obligatory fasting every Mondays and Thursdays, as well as on the 13th, 14th and 15th of each month of the Hijrah calendar. And the ultimate is the sadness that I feel when the end of the Ramadhan approaches.

--*--

I had met Sury Kassim - now Datin Sury - who was my colleague in ITM and someone whom I had not seen for more than 20 years. Together with her friend N, they had related stories about the homeless, the poor and the hungry... all living in the streets of KL. I was flabbergasted -- I was shocked to know that there are actually many, many people sleeping on the sidewalks, pavements, under bridges and anywhere else they could find, to sleep and a place to call "home". There are also women, some of whom are pregnant, and even whole families living on the streets. I was very disturbed by this unexpected discovery, and didn't have restful sleep for what may have been a week after meeting Datin Sury and N.

It was after this meeting that I personally got to know of a very special person. He had been in a situation where he didn’t have a single ringgit in his pocket, and had been in places where he had to sleep on hard concrete floors. From then on, I couldn’t make myself sleep on my too-comfortable bed any longer. Until today, I have chosen to sleep on a comforter on the floor - something I have happily grown accustomed to. I am grateful that our paths crossed, for we share a common belief that there are so many things for us to appreciate and cherish in life, especially people.

I was very fortunate that day to have met the two angels in disguise; they are volunteers and Team Leaders in an organization called Reach Org. They pack food and drinks where three days/nights a week they hit the streets in KL to distribute the meals to the homeless. The regulars who are familiar with members of this group would come for their food. But the volunteers have made a further effort by seeking those who shun outsiders and remain in their hiding places. This takes place well into the night and through the early morning. According to N, when there are not enough male volunteers, the women volunteers will walk the streets on their own searching for those in need of food, comfort or basic medical aid.

On the 29th of August, 2010, upon N's long-awaited invitation, I had the opportunity to join the volunteers and their homeless friends to a sahur organized by the group, which was in addition to the usual food distribution programme. The event was supposed to be held at an open paved area near Kotaraya. However, the wet weather forced the party to be moved to the covered sidewalk. This was a first -- normally, the food is only handed. But that night was different and special - the volunteers actually sat down and ate with the homeless, in an effort to get to know them in person, to bond with them and to foster a closer relationship.

I extended the invitation to Aiman, my 22-year-old son, and was pleasantly surprised, and proud, that he agreed immediately despite it being a Saturday night. It was still drizzling when we arrived just after 3a.m., and were a little disappointed that there were not as many of the homeless people as I had expected. Apparently, there were strong winds earlier and many had gone back. I was told that along that particular stretch of sidewalk alone there could have been as many as 50 homeless people sleeping at night.

Nevertheless, there was a festive mood in the air despite the drizzle. The homeless were seen tucking happily into their generous meal of rice, assam fish (it could have been tenggiri), fried chicken, half a salted egg and even sambal belacan to top it off. Aiman commented that the food tasted really good - in fact, it was much better than the paid meals he had at a recent trip to Taman Negara! We got our plates of food from one of the volunteers, who went around with a tray and serving everyone with a delightful smile on his face.

We were introduced to two street “otais”, and Aiman and I sat to eat with them while they told us their stories. They were full of praise for the organization and its members, specifically mentioning N. They see and feel the sincerity, warmth and even love in the volunteers; so much so that they were badly missed if they did not appear as usual. “Never mind the food,” they said, “It’s their presence and their company that we look forward to every week.”

It was of no surprise then that I could sense the positive vibrations permeating through the air. It came from each and every one of them; of people doing this with their hearts... because they cared, for people whom others didn’t... perhaps not even their own families. They offer comfort and inspiration to those not as fortunate, and this is to be the start of bigger missions for the organization.

I was looking forward to meet the founder of the organization, whom I had easily spotted earlier. Tall and lean, he was sporting the black-and-white Palestine muffler around his neck, and nothing on his head. Peter Nicoll is from Scotland, married to a Malaysian and has now lived here for 14 years. Pete, as he is known to everyone, loves Malaysia and hopes to die here. And he shows it. His noble efforts and aspirations put to shame many of us born Malaysians, who profess to love the country, who complain and lament. Yet we are unwilling to sacrifice the time, energy and money for others. And we do nothing to make the country a better place to live in, not only for ourselves but for others too. Never mind to risk their safety and lives in an effort to bring some respite and hope to down-and-out strangers. Too busy and concerned with me, my, I and mine to care about others, we forget, or don’t ever realise, that possessing true happiness is actually in making others happy.

The Woman and True Love
True love, love for the sake of Allah, burns like a flame in a woman’s heart, gives ineffable delight and is truly lovely for the woman. It is an intense feeling that also has a powerful effect. A person is loved for the sake of Allah. They are loved as a manifestation of Allah, and there is a great and profound delight in that. It is a force that never ends. Allah has bestowed such a depth on almost all women. In other words, if a woman is given this, meaning passion, love, depth and loyalty, she will turn into an unbelievable entity. That woman will disappear, to be replaced by a superhuman entity. All that beauty, depth and passion in her soul begin coming to the surface.

A great many people have killed off the love in their souls. One has to resurrect that corpse in their souls. One has to release that love again. The real issue is for the love and fear of Allah to enfold one. Someone who attains the love of Allah also attains all beauty in this world and in the Hereafter. After earning Allah’s approval, a person’s mind is thenceforth tied to Allah. That person will now turn to Allah and depart from satan’s control. In surrendering his heart to Allah, he is placing himself under Allah’s rule. Such a person will constantly experience depth, beauty and happiness.

An ordinary man is pretty dense. He may look like a man, but he is empty inside. He is a mass of flesh and bone. Rational women are not impressed by such men. Women like intelligence. They are strongly attracted to intelligent men. They are hypnotized by them. This stems from the special force that faith bestows. It attracts them like a magnet. But women, devout women, are totally unimpressed by idiots or people with no religion. Such people have no effect on them, and even repel them. They cannot help themselves, it is an instinct bestowed by Allah. The Qur’an indicates this. It says devout men for devout women and devout women for devout men.

A woman knows, she knows subconsciously. But it is very difficult to find someone to bring it out. A woman always has a perfection of men in her subconscious. But they cannot find it. In other words, all they want is honesty and sincerity, because women hate men who tell lies. Indeed, if it happens a few times it will demolish her and have a terrible negative impact.

And trust. Trust works like adrenalin on women. It totally relaxes them and puts them at their ease. And that allows the women to release all the force within her. It brings that depth out, in other words. And how does trust come about? Through fear and love of Allah. If a woman believes that a man has unadulterated fear of Allah, that he is passionately devoted to Allah, then in her brain she melts in the face of that man. It creates a relaxing in her brain. And the soul of a woman inside her is thus released.

And that also applies to men. If a man is trustworthy, loyal and able to keep confidence, and if he is intelligent, to which women attach such importance, then he attains qualities that hypnotize a women. A look from an intelligent woman has a huge impact, but an intelligent woman can only show that power to an intelligent man. She will look at an unintelligent man in the same way she looks at a blank wall. It is beyond her power. Her look is wasted, as if poured on water. But the eyes of an intelligent man, the beauty in him, will strongly attract her.


Marriage and the Woman
Marriage is built on pure love. You love that person as a manifestation of Allah. And your sole aim is to protect that person entrusted to you by Allah and permit them to live under the best possible conditions, regarding them as a partner, a brother or even, in one way, as one’s child.It must be founded on pure love. One must intend to see a manifestation of Allah. People get married to experience passion. People get married to experience that delightful feeling, that feeling of depth, bestowed by Allah, in order to serve Allah together and to earn His approval.



Why then, are so many couples unhappy and marriages break-up?
Instead of that true delight, some people prefer to go for material things and drown in that suffering and filth. They have to stay with someone who disgusts them and suffer for the rest of their lives. Because such men hate moral virtue, hate strength of character, constantly lie and insult the woman, impugning her honor, making their lack of love perfectly clear from their words and facial expression, all their love being placed in their goods and possessions. They grow proud and obstinate and do not recognize the woman’s worth.

So many fine women waste their lives in this way. And their children. I have known many fine women. But when I have seen them again years later, their hands and faces are all worn and they are in a terrible state. Regret has caused them to lose all their humanity. They have been ruined and their youth has been squandered in that way. That precious quality in their souls disappears, and that depth of soul of theirs is wasted, and that is a terrible shame.

That is why the finest measure is to seek love in harmony with the measure set by Allah, to seek that delightful manifestation of Allah, to be genuine and honest, and to fear and love Allah. One must know that the deep delight and astounding pleasure this imparts will be bestowed as a blessing from Allah.

There is a profound miracle unique to Muslims, unique to those who truly fear Allah. Few people are aware of it. And they live within this scourge because they are unaware of it. If they knew about it, they might not go down that other path for all the world. If they knew what a delight and joy living with true faith was, they would attach no importance to factories, or cars or anything else. But they are unaware of it.