An Nisaa - I am Woman

When I married Ahmad Cendana, or Che Mad as he is known in his home town, I honestly didn't have any idea what I was getting myself into, and didn't really know what to expect of all his family members. In fact I never really did think much about it. All I knew was, I had to help him get out of the horrible state of being he was in, and bring him back to his family, his aged parents especially, where he belonged. My husband had ostracised himself from his family and society, and one of my biggest wish was to reunite them. It had been too many painful years for everyone.

As far as his family was concerned, I only knew what everyone else who had read his posts in his Recovery blog did. Earlier in our relationship, I had only exchanged a few text messages with his father and younger sister. But it was enough to know, and hope that my presence in Che Mad's life would be welcomed by all of them. My own father had passed on in 2004 and the prospect of having someone again as a father figure was heart-warming. 

It took a while to cajole him into going back to Alor Star. I knew it was extremely difficult for him to face his parents after all those years and all he had done, but it was of paramount importance. With parents, there simply cannot be any compromise. I was looking forward to getting married, but not without the blessings of both our parents. After we had gotten them from my late Mama, I had insisted on meeting his parents and getting their blessings too before making any preparations for the wedding. Mama had wanted us to get married quickly so it had to be soon.

So, with my son, Aiman as chaperone, we finally made our way to the capital of Kedah state to meet Che Mad's parents whom he had not met for more than two decades. Suffice to say, there couldn't be a more touching, momentous occasion than a father and a mother reuniting with a long "lost" son.     

Initially I had admired Abah because he is such a responsible father. He possesses immense spiritual, emotional, mental and physical strength that had enabled him to face the tremendous challenges of having a son who was once a hardcore drug addict. He never once gave up and did almost everything possible to save his only son from the demonic clutches of drug addiction. This alone earned my highest respect for him.

Over the years, as I got to know him better, I started looking upon him even higher. His love for and devotion to his children and grandchildren are exemplary and the successes of his daughters are testimony to this. Nonetheless, he believes he had failed in bringing up and correcting his son. I vehemently contradicted him, telling him that he had done the best he could to help, and that he wasn't in the least at fault. I had assured him that whatever good that could come from my marriage to his son is most probably the manifestation of his relentless du'a and efforts.

It turns out that one of the best things being married to Ahmad Cendana is having the privilege of having a father-in-law in Abah. It feels like I have inherited a priceless possession, a solid treasure of eighty years of knowledge, experience, wisdom, love and strength. I feel so blessed to be able to live the last phase of my life being a beneficiary of his love. He calls me by a most endearing "Anakanda" and has "bestowed" me with the title "Che" as in his biological daughters' names. And I know it comforts and heals him from the pains inflicted in the past when I return his calling with a loving "Ya, Ayahanda". 
  
I will need a lot of composure writing this last paragraph because during the recent visit to Alor Star, I had finally realised the significance of something very distinct, essential and esteemed in this man I call Abah. Every time I just think about it I find myself crying hopelessly and shamelessly. It is the source of his strength, determination and tenacity, it is what he is made of, his whole being. It was the main reason he was able to withstand the hardship and bitterness in battling with the problems and consequences brought about by a son suffering from serious addiction. 

It was his love for a woman, the woman he'd do anything for, the woman in his life...his wife.

The door leading to Abah and Mak's bedroom.						Abah had written the date they got married and their 50th anniversary on it. Notice the zeroes in "2008" are heart shaped.