An Nisaa - I am Woman

Every Thursday night, my thoughts often drift to two women. I'm sitting comfortably in my red, thinking tub-chair in my cosy bedroom, while these two noble living saints are out there working to make the lives of others more comfortable. Two particular courageous, spirited, outstanding women who are totally unpretentious, simple and unassuming in character, for whom I have so much respect that I am dedicating this post to them.

Every Thursday night, these two gutsy women together with a team of volunteers, selflessly sacrifice their time and contribute their energy towards making the lives of more than two hundred people a little, if not a whole lot better. Perhaps much more, as the sacrifices of this duo promises a full stomach, and some desperately needed hope and respite on those nights. Without fail, every Thursday night, they dish out freshly-cooked wholesome meals to the homeless in Kuala Lumpur.

I can safely say, or at least hope, that almost everyone reading this are in a position where you are able to get at least two solid meals in a day, unless you're on a crash diet that is. And there may be many out there who never even imagined that there are actually people "living" in the cosmopolitan city of Kuala Lumpur who don't have homes, money, jobs...and at times even food to eat. Some may gasp in horror on knowing this, but continue with their lives without any further thought for these unfortunate people.

Walk around the streets of KL after midnight, and you are sure to meet conditions like this in many, many places.  Picture courtesy of Naga Timur.

Others may have the opinion that "it is through their own fault" that these people end up on the streets. Or perhaps it was "their own choice" even to live that way... very likely "these are people who don't have morals, discipline and education" and "succumbed to their lusts", "made stupid mistakes", "lost all their money on vices like gambling, alcohol and drugs." Or so it may seem. It's so easy to just make an assumption and judge. I can't blame those who think that way though, because I have to admit, shamefully, that at one time in my life, I had thought in the same way too.

But experience, challenges and mistakes have made me wiser. Forcing one's self to be more humble and open-minded can make one see things and people in a much wider perspective, and with a more sensible and realistic approach. And more importantly, view things from the spiritual and emotional aspect of things. I now realise that not everyone is destined to live comfortably throughout all of his or her life. No matter how high we studied in college or university, no matter how hard we worked at a job or a business, no matter how much money or property we have accumulated at a given moment, no one, no one can ever guarantee his or her own future after that. Each and everyone of us, at any one time, is just a snap of a finger away from sickness, calamity or misfortune. That is, if we believe in the existence of a Higher Power. If ever God Almighty decrees that we are stripped of all our wealth and worldly possessions in a blink of an eye, no one can defy His rule, no one can escape His wrath. It may happen in more ways than one, in ways we could never have imagined. But the frightening truth is, it can happen.

Whatever the circumstances, a majority of the homeless never asked, never wanted to be the way they are. Many are just simply unfortunate and are desperately trying to get out of destitution. But it is never easy; there always seem to be limitations, obstacles and negative influences which only continue to oppress. When there is not even a hint of light at the end of a long, dark tunnel, life gets really cold, depressing and hopeless. Not just for a day or two, not even a week, but for an unknown period of time, and possibly even, till the end of his life. Every new day is simply an extension of the last - there is nothing to rejoice, nothing to look forward to, nothing to hope for.

Enn Faradh- her smile, her laugh and enthusiasm are her trademark. Her compassion and her devotion to her voluntary work are her pillars  of her life. Picture by Suhaiza Sue.

But when there is Sury Kassim and Enn Faradh Mokhtar there is light, and there is a chance for them to gain some strength to at least hope that their lives could turn for the better. For close to 250 homeless street people who converge at the Masjid Jamek in Kuala Lumpur every Thursday night, they are angels sent by God. And all because these two humanitarians spare a thought for all the hungry people who roam the streets of KL. That's it..that is all to it. There are no hidden agendas, political targets, ulterior objectives nor desire for glory or fame. They and the volunteers just possess a heart so pure they feel the need to fulfill their obligations in life by ensuring hungry people are provided with a hot meal so as to minimise their suffering. There is absolutely nothing that makes them more contented and fulfilled than to have filled an empty stomach.

Sury and Enn started as normal volunteers in the year 2007 with an organisation which ran a soup kitchen.
Later they got together with a few other people and formed Reach Org with the objective of reaching out to the homeless, and eventually taking them off the streets. It was in August 2010 that I had met Enn for the first time. Enn's enthusiasm was so contagious and her passion for what she does showed clearly from the way she spoke. I was so moved by her stories about their street-feeding experiences and for a whole week after that I was consumed by the knowledge that people with this kind of altruism truly existed, and I had met them in the flesh. Somehow I had felt that they were real life heroes. It made a massive impact on me. What they did/do was a really big deal to me and still is. And it made me feel that my life so far had been so insipid.

Don't mess around with this femme fatale! Not everyone has the strength and ability to initiate and organise a soup kitchen each and every week.

Sury and I had been college mates and I hadn't met her since we graduated. But she hadn't changed much in appearance. It was a surprise meeting with her again after all those years and I was astounded that this slim, attractive woman was involved in philanthropy and was very active in voluntary work. That is the main factor of my admiration for the work she does - despite her high social profile, Sury is always on the ground, literally. She is on the streets with or without other volunteers, during each street-feeding session. It is very rare to see a founder of a voluntary organisation actually doing the work. Most will remain in the office while the other volunteers do the legwork. This is not the case with Sury. She knows each and every street-feeding route in Kuala Lumpur and walks through the backstreets and alleys to get to the homeless. She makes an effort to know them personally. She sits with them and talks to them. She listens to their problems and tries to find a solution for them. She also believes that there is good in everyone, and remains positive that people will always change for the better. This is something encrypted in Sury's belief system, that there is always a solution to every problem, so the stalwart that she is, she faces each and every challenge head-on. Many of us can't even handle our own problems, much less care for others'.

Sury and Enn are aided by very dedicated and capable volunteers.

On the 9th of July, 2011 the country almost faced an emergency situation when the Bersih 2.0 rally was held in the city. Major roads were closed and there were police blockades everywhere. It was a Saturday - the day Reach Out had always made three rounds of street-feeding. It seemed quite impossible to get onto the streets in the heart of KL with reports of massive jams everywhere. There was also the risk of street demonstrations and rioting. Sury was unperturbed by all the news and reports of the unrest and impending troubles. All she knew was that she couldn't allow the homeless to go hungry that night. With her trusted sidekick, Enn and whatever resources she managed to pull together, they braved the storm and the police blockades and managed to get food to their hungry, waiting clients that day.

A lighter side of Sury. She is seen here with donated  clothes to be distributed to an  orang asli community in  Royal Belum. By the way, Sury is a great cook and specialises in authentic Nasi Kerabu.

Besides the homeless, Sury and Enn are also very susceptible to appeals by any other people who are in need. In late November last year, Enn had spotted a post in Facebook about an orang asli community which had been cut-off from food supplies because the road leading to their village was no longer accessible by any vehicle. The Tok Batin of the village called  Kampung Tohai had made a personal appeal and in no time, Sury, Enn and their volunteers gathered clothes and foodstuff and made their way to this remote village in the deep jungles of Kelantan, somewhere in between Lojing and Gua Musang in eleven 4WD's.

Sury with the Tok Batin of Kampung Tohai. She has an exceptionally soft spot for the elderly.

Volunteers packing food and clothes for the orang asli  Kampung Tohai

Sury (in the foreground) posing with the very happy volunteers and orang asli of Kampung Tohai.

A woman from the orang asli community.

One other trait I find admirable in this formidable woman is her tenacity. Being the daughter of a high ranking army officer, her father very probably had a major role in moulding her disciplined character. And Sury too has a mind of her own and a good head on her shoulders. She was largely the mastermind in the previous organisation and made many crucial decisions in critical situations. She had initiated and organised a particularly unforgettable operation, carried out by a hurriedly formed emergency response team. Within two hours of receiving an SOS from Shyam Priah, leader of an NGO called Khatulistiwa, the team moved to Alor Star, Kedah during the floods in late 2010. There were people in the kampungs which were cut off by the floods and only heavy vehicles could get through. Upon arriving, they found themselves amongst a troop of soldiers who were there to give aid to flood victims. Sury didn't hesitate in getting the help of the army officer in charge and managed to get a truck and a driver deployed. They succeeded in getting foodstuff and other basic necessities gathered only just the night before to the villagers before any other volunteers from any other organisations.

This is Zul Paixi Nan. He is a Mat Rempit. He used to rempit aimlessly but since joining as a volunteer, Zul now feels he has a purpose in life as he has been given a big responsibility to carry. He has been elected the Chief Marshall on the midnight rounds. Picture courtesy of Naga Timur

And this would be Mie Tompok. He is also a Mat Rempit whose life changed after he joined as a volunteer. I met him at the group's HQ and later saw him eating on the floor at a corner of the room. When I asked him why he wasn't eating with the rest at the table, he told me that the homeless always had to eat on the floor of the streets. I knew then that he had a big, big heart, and it was with them. Picture courtesy of Naga Timur

Even without these heroic adventures, my highest respect and admiration go to Sury and Enn for their tireless effort in ensuring the feeding never stops. Week after week they churn out dry food packets and rice packs complete with drinks and fruits. Sury always insists on the food being fresh and hot. If they turn up cold, she nonchalantly rejects them. She isn't in the least worried about how her contributors or donaters would react, her concern is only in giving her clients a hot meal.

Enn gets her strength by giving, she strongly believes that therein lies the   happiness; it is not in the receiving as many tend to believe.

Sury and Enn have since resigned from Reach Out. They have founded a brand new street-feeding volunteer group, called 1Charity, and this time they collaborate with Masjid Jamek Kuala Lumpur and JAWI. Here, Sury and Enn are able to make their own decisions, but are still very open to ideas and suggestions from the volunteers. The group first started by literally feeding on the streets, outside the gates of the Masjid Jamek. However when an imam of the mosque learnt about their activities, he graciously invited the group to conduct the feeding within the mosque grounds.

Thanks to Ustaz Izwan bin Sharif, or Ustaz Wan as he is fondly known, and also the main imam of the Masjid Jamek Ustaz Mohd Faisal bin Tan Mutallib , their kindheartedness not only allows the group to feed the homeless, but they are now also able to serve their clients freshly cooked food prepared from a (barely equipped) soup kitchen in the mosque grounds.

Distributing used clothing collected by the volunteers. Picture by Naga Timur

They also now have enough resources to do feeding two nights a week, that is, Thursdays and Fridays. Since they are now able to cook on the premises of the mosque, the packed food provided by JAWI is distributed to the homeless in further parts of KL. This is where a group of bikers who volunteer to do the rounds have become an asset to the organisation as they are very mobile and are able to access the smaller lanes. I must also highlight and commend the contributions and tireless efforts of the JAWI officers: Ustaz Baharuddin bin Idris and Ustaz Khairul Anuwar bin Mustaffa. JAWI has been so kind to contribute 200 packs of rice meals every week. Their commitment to the 1Charity project and activities is truly a blessing from Allah.

Hygiene is not compromised even though the food is for the poor and homeless. Picture by Naga Timur

Dedicated volunteers prepare the food systematically and efficiently.  Picture by Naga Timur

This dedication to Sury and Enn is in conjunction with the recent formation of 1Charity. To Sury and Enn: may the both of you be guided, protected and given the strength to continue all the good you are doing now, and may the both of you be blessed forever.






Note
1Charity is open to donations in cash and kind; dry food such as instant noodles, individually wrapped biscuits and clothing. At the moment they are also in dire need of kitchen utensils such as hotplates for grilling, big woks and pots, large ladles and spatulas. Thank you for taking the time to read this.

20 Things to Start Doing in Your Relationships

There is no God but Allah

Al-h Haqq The Truth Say: "Who is it that provides you with sustenance out of heaven and earth, or who is it that has full power over your hearing and sight? And who is it that brings forth the living out of that which is dead, and brings forth the dead out of that which is alive? And who is it that governs all that exists?" And they will surely answer, "It is God." Say, then: "Will you not, then, become fully conscious of Him -- seeing that He is God, your Sustainer, the Ultimate Truth? For, after the truth has been forsaken, what is there left but error? How, then can you lose sight of the truth?" Yunus 10:31-32

This is a special post. This is a special day. This is a special month. This is a special year. 

This is a special life.




I was born from special parents. I am blessed with very, very special children. I am lucky to have special siblings. I am abundant with special friends. I was destined to marry a man who is very special, because he too, has many special friends.




This post is a gift to my husband, Ahmad Cendana, on his birthday which falls today, the 12th of October. (Oh dear, I had accidentally pressed on the "Publish" button when I had wanted to press on the "Preview" button. So let it be, from the time I woke up this morning, I had felt that it would be such a beautiful day today, and indeed it is) I know, it makes a wonderful gift for him because it is a tribute to all the special people mentioned above, and he is one who is and will always be grateful to people, friends and family who have made a difference in his life, who have made his long and hard journey to recovery that much easier, people who accepted him as he is and saw only the good in him.




I am not much of a writer, but it is my hope that with this feeble attempt to put my feelings and thoughts into words, this post will reflect just how much my husband and I appreciate the things that have been bestowed upon us by God Almighty, through and because of special people, particularly in the past year or so. 

Very special, very rare and very exquisite Pastel shade roses by Anna Tihhomirova from Fotolia.com

At the end of last September, I had gone to meet a friend at her office to discuss on a certain matter. Needless to say, this friend of mine, is a very special one. Not only as a friend to me but more so as a person; because she is gifted and able to, by God's will, enlighten others who are in some kind of trouble, pain or suffering, especially from the loss of someone they loved. I would love to mention her name here but somehow, I feel that she would be totally uncomfortable if I did, and so I won't.


I wasn't in any of those situations though, thankfully, but she, as usual, being naturally clairvoyant and overflowing with kindness and compassion, started revealing things that were meant to be made known to me. She had said something that I had never thought, heard or read of before this, something which had moved me immensely, something so compelling, important and significant that I had to write this post. I thought, how appropriate it would be to present it today, on this very special occasion and in this very auspicious month. 



                                                                                                                                                                     "You are never alone." she had said to me in a whisper, although there wasn't anyone else with us. "Because you are so humbled and are always appreciative of others who have helped you, because you are not inhibited by a shameful  discomfort of your disposition, and have absolutely no qualms about expressing your gratitude, they, all those who have supported you, remain with you in spirit and have become your strength."



I was struck by a series of differing emotions that was hitting me in sub-seconds; disbelief, confusion, bewilderment, puzzlement. There was something in what she had just said, but I just couldn't nail it. My eyebrows moved upwards and downwards then inwards. My eyes squinted then opened wide in perfect synchronisation with my mouth. I gasped and whooped but no words came out from it while my hands gestured meaninglessly. Her colleague watching through the glass walls from the next room must have been thinking that I was getting an explicit update of the latest office gossip. 


And then the realisation came, and a second wave of emotions came over me, this time of a totally different kind. Suddenly I was uplifted and felt lightheaded, I was elated, no, that is understated, I was..euphoric. This extraordinary woman was talking about my husband, not me. 


The strength she had felt in me was his. She was describing Ahmad Cendana with acute precision; I had known and felt the inert strength in him, just as many other people did, from his writing, particularly in his blog Recovery from Drug Addiction. But I had never been able to identify this powerful, rising energy within him which radiates from his stories recounting his past, until this revelation. This could only be culminated by one so pure and sincere, and with such a keen sense of perception.


He often wrote, and after he had moved from Pasir Mas to Batang Kali where we had first met (we had discovered each other two months before the move but had never spoken :-)) had spoken to me constantly about people who had helped him in one way or another. Even the smallest gesture doesn't escape his memory. He does the same to me, often repeating what I had done for him. I had told him he needn't do that, because I, and I'm certain everyone else too, had done things without expecting any gratitude and acknowledgement  in return. 


But I was wrong. Further to what my special friend had said, I had incidentally read, a hadith, if I am not mistaken, which said "Those who truly appreciate people's deeds, are those who are truly grateful to God". As with so many other hadith, the words appear simple enough but the message and the effect from it go very deep. 


[Update - I finally found the actual hadith: Abu Hurairah t reported that the Messenger r said, "Whoever does not thank the people does not thank Allah." [Sunan abi Dawud (2/290), Saheeha (416)].


Feelings of deep gratitude is the manifestation of an unwavering faith in God, and herein lies a strength that can make things happen.   


There were stories of the good things people did for him in his earlier life and during the pre-Gambang period that made him rejoice. One of his earlier acquaintances and probably the most significant name in Ahmad Cendana's life directory is that of a writer/academician, among other important things he does. This American friend had gone out of his way on many occasions to help my husband. It  included sending a number of books and reading material from Korea where he lived knowing that Ahmad Cendana loved to read but didn't have very much on him then. 


Incidentally, this very special person is here in Malaysia right now, and this time, I had the honour of meeting him in person, making this already meaningful month even more memorable. More importantly, we were able to give him in return, though far short of equal to what he had done, the help and support that he had rendered to my husband in more ways than one. I consider my husband very lucky to be on the receiving end of altruism in the true sense of it's word. David, if you are reading this, we hope you would regard us as your family now.


I believe most of his other joyous moments of good things that had happened, or which started to happen, was when he was in Pusat Serenti Gambang where Ahmad Cendana got a complete makeover in character. Even his pseudonym, or rather his pen name, is after his hostel here. But most of the friends that gave him the motivation and support which he desperately needed to pick himself up and restart life were those he came to know after he was released from the rehabilitation centre. Many were those whom he had known through the internet and social media, and many of them still continue to cheer him on.






I now know that his reverence, the appreciation and  acknowledgement given so humbly, sincerely and wholeheartedly by Ahmad Cendana to all of them for the things they had written, said and done for him are actually the source of his incredible strength. 


As of today, I have had the pleasure to meet only four of Ahmad Cendana's friends in person: Sherry, Elviza, SatDee and most recently David. All four have been very significant in his uprise, namely Sherry whose role was monumental as most would probably already know. I am also delighted to have made friends on Facebook with Zendy Zee, NadyaS, Zack Zara, Sheri Din, Faten Rafei, Tam Dalyell and Puteri Kamaliah. With others, I only know by  name, but nevertheless I know they were no less important: Sherry's husband Nazmi, Sheila, Rocky, Tehsin, Shakirah, Risma, Mek Yam, ArahMan, Rahim, Has Hanie Bahari, Adriani Hana, Mamasita, Tisa Fahmy and her father, Pakmat Fahmy and Capt Shariff Abbas. There's also Singh is Kiing, Mia Ex Deejay, Tengku Putra Jumat, Syed Idrus Al-Haddad and Datuk Shamsuddin Nawawi who are always giving him good wishes. To all of them, and to all other friends of Ahmad Cendana whom I may have missed or I may not know of and are reading this, even if he has mentioned it a zillion times before, I want to say it too here and now:  


To everyone who has done and/or given something, no matter how small, that has contributed towards my husband's recovery and well-being,  I am very thankful. I  have benefited beyond expectations from your kindness and I am very grateful for this. What is important now is we, both Ahmad Cendana and I, know that we are able to pass on this benefit to others.


Until today, my husband too has yet to meet most of these friends in person, but I'm sure it was his honesty, earnest, sincerity and sensitivity towards the feelings of others that had touched their hearts, mainly through his writing in his blog. I came across this blogger who had used Teabag, the character in his favourite TV series Prison Break as his profile picture just over a year ago by chance while cruising through Rocky Bru's blog. His comments were witty and intelligent, and his English..needless to say, flawless. A click on his profile led me to his Recovery blog, and within the minute, he had my attention, and my heart, glued to his heart-rending, tear-jerking, outwardly courageous posts.



What really got my first attention was actually his name. Cendana or Sandalwood essential oil happens to be one of my favourites. I use it in most of my aromatherapy oils that I blend for therapeutic purposes. It provides the strength, character and stability to my oils and I had told him just that in a comment on his blog. Because of this, besides the name and it's therapeutic properties he was terribly keen to obtain a bottle. I don't know if it could also have been because of interest in the person behind the comments :-).


Initially, my oil was simply named "Minyak Cendana", (Sandalwood Oil) but just one month earlier, I had incidentally renamed it Minyak Cendana Cinta (Sandalwood Love Oil). I had created this blend for the purpose of restoring harmony, closeness and intimacy in relationships between spouses who had developed differences and had drifted apart. Never did I imagine that I had unknowingly "drawn" my own spouse-to-be to me!    


Since my oils are actually created for women, I had a special one blended for this Ahmad Cendana who totally intrigued me. I had added Vanilla to the formula intended to stimulate the production of serotonin and melatonin, the "happy hormones". Lack of the former in a person is the cause of depression, addiction and a sense of worthlessness. Little did I know at that point in time, he was going through a particularly rough patch and was in an extremely depressive state over a personal matter, and was possibly at the brink of a relapse. I couldn't have possibly known what he was going through but I had let my heart reach out to him and wrote, "Take good care bro, and love Allah till it hurts, so that nothing and no one would ever hurt you ever again." Apparently, these words, and the unassuming "Minyak Cendana Cinta" had come to him at the most critical time. 


When he received the package, he immediately sent me a text message and continued to do so during the whole process of opening the parcel. He said that he could smell the oil wafting in the air even before fully opening it, and I was astounded when he said he had the sensation of "happiness". This man surprised me with his exceptionally strong spiritual inclination. By sheer ignorance, I never expected someone who had survived heavy addiction on savaging, merciless, evil substances and opiates and living in adverse, brutal and torturous physical, emotional and mental conditions to be so sensitive, receptive, responsive and conscious of the effects from a natural and holistic therapy in an instant. He really had me there.


Draw like a magnet it did and in less than a week, we both were aware, though somewhat nervous, that we had "something special" between us. I was certain then that my oil would be more appropriately known as  "Minyak Cendana *Bukan Cinta Biasa*", (literally translated as Sandalwood *Not The Ordinary Love* Oil) because that was how our love was, and still is. Magical, mystical, out of the ordinary but absolutely real.
Needless to say, our relationship developed very quickly but certainly not without drama and heartache. Having a relationship with a former addict much less being married to one had never crossed my mind. I had a lot to learn and understand about relating to one. I was thankful I had the opportunity of treating a couple of former addicts before and had thus gained some knowledge and experience dealing with them. But as it turned out, nothing had really prepared me for the reality of living with someone who was.. "different". Ahmad Cendana had been living alone for almost twenty years. I had to constantly remind myself that he would need time to adapt to married life again. It wasn't easy. It required mental and emotional stamina, and many times I faltered. I too had weaknesses and shortcomings of my own. What kept me going was the fact that he was "special".  And not unlike my friend who had made the profound observation , Ahmad Cendana was not only special to me but he was and is, someone special.


There was another stronghold that gave me the fortitude and reason to hold out. My two children - Ahmad Aiman and Marzia. To me, they are truly exceptional. From day one, they had given me their approval and full support of my relationship and marriage despite having knowledge of their stepfather-to-be's dark past. I'll never forget Aiman's words, "Mama, if you're happy, then I'm happy." I so admire their trust and confidence in their mother's decision to marry this man. They did not go by conventional, "logical" thinking that a former addict could only bring problems to the family. They were not in the least ashamed, or worried that they could have been scorned, belittled or laughed at by any ignorant and insensitive people. They just stood by me for whatever it took. I must say, they scored top marks in their emotional intelligence quotient! 





Abang and Adik, Mama is so very proud of the both of you, and thank you so much for standing by me. 


In this month too, Aiman celebrates his 23rd birthday. And to add to all these special events, Marzia graduates from her diploma course on the 25th! Happy Birthday Aiman, and Congratulations Adik! Mama loves the both of you more than you could ever know.




I'm not encouraging this but getting married in the presence of my children made the occasion so special and meaningful. Not forgetting too, the presence of Aiman's friends, Danieal, Shamir, Hariz, Saufi, Jowe, Izzat, Hafiz, Rudy, Khairuldin and Nadiah.......thank you all for attending our wedding and making it so memorable. 


I must also thank my stepchildren, Ahmad Cendana's four children from his previous marriage, for accepting me so willingly and graciously, and calling me Mama even before their father got married to me. Ever since I learnt that they were quite distant  from their father, it was my wish to see them all together, and Alhamdulillah  it was granted when all four of his children came to be with their father on one particular Saturday earlier this year. Since then two of his children visit him occasionally while the youngest is living with us now.

Ahmad Aiman & Marzia, my pride and joy.

Then there were my sisters. My three beloved sisters. The first among them to know about my relationship was my sister closest to me, Yan. We were in the car when I started telling her about Ahmad Cendana. Yan is and idealist and perfectionist, so I was expecting her to have some reservations about this man her "little" sister had  fallen in love with, and perhaps some objection too. Instead, her response was just the opposite and had caught me completely by surprise.


 "You've got what you wanted." she said in her usual cool way. "Remember you had said you wanted to treat a patient with a drug addiction problem?" she reminded me in her school principal like manner. I had almost forgotten about what I had told her almost ten years ago, but obviously she hadn't. "Well, now you have one! Ask him if he would like to stay in Batang Kali and tend to my crayfish." I was stunned. This wasn't the Yan I thought I knew, but I sure wasn't complaining. If this wasn't enough, she went on to say "If he can't make it on his own, we'll drive up to Pasir Mas and help him move here." I couldn't believe what I was hearing. Not only Yan didn't object to my choice of a husband, she had offered to help make things easier for us. It turned out that it wasn't necessary to drive to Pasir Mas as Yan had suggested, but both my husband and I will never forget this splendid show of magnanimity. 


My second sister, Aimi, is known for her chronic friendliness and cheerfulness. Generosity is her middle name. When I broke the news to her about Ahmad Cendana, she was unperturbed. I was again surprised by another immediate acceptance. When I asked her why was she so receptive, her spontaneous reply was "Why not? You can treat him kan?". I could feel my heart bursting with love and gratification. 


Aimi had insisted, and had made sure that I had a "proper" wedding ceremony and reception. If it had been left to us, my husband and I would only have had our immediate family attending. She had arranged for the caterers and as it turned out, everyone said the food was simply marvelous. This is not in the least surprising, as it came from the heart of such a blessed woman. We also had homemade dessert made by Yan and a good friend of mine, Sharifah, which I heard was so good but didn't get the chance to taste because everything had vanished!  


My eldest sister Azni too, was so relenting and understanding. I believe, she had read Ahmad Cendana's character from his writing, as she had commented that it was similar to that of my late father's. She had invited him to her children's wedding on 10.10.10 (10 October 2010) not once but three times, knowing how socially ill-equipped he was at that time. And on my own wedding day which was held on a weekday, she had rushed to be with us despite her very heavy work schedule. She doesn't have much time for us but it doesn't matter at all, as she selflessly devotes most of it towards the betterment of tens of thousands students, in her capacity as Deputy Vice Chancellor at my alma mater, UITM. 


My only brother, like my sisters, did not object to my marriage but had laid down a condition on his future brother-in-law, apparently only to protect his youngest sister's interest. Azman who lives and works in Pakistan is one who can be very critical of people, and cynical too. Nevertheless, he was extremely (surprisingly) patient, helpful and cooperative in getting the crucial documents that would allow him to be represented as a wali during the solemnisation ceremony.  


Till today, I am just so humbled, and grateful of their willingness and openness to accept a former addict with a not so good record to be part of the family. I imagine the odds of this happening in other families could be one to a million. This could only mean something is very right, and definitely ordained by God, and that my siblings are four in a million. 




                                                                                  

My lovely, lovely sisters, from left after me in blue, Yan Zain, Datin Aimi & Prof Azni

One of the first persons I had "consulted" with was Pete Nicoll , the founder of Reach Out. Pete had worked in the Police Force before and had vast knowledge and experience dealing with drug addicts and street people. When I told him about my intention to marry Ahmad Cendana, he replied with a short but very firm "Good." At that time, that was all the assurance I needed to go ahead with my plans. Thank you Pete, for giving me the courage. 


I really would want to mention the names of all my family and friends here to acknowledge them but the list would be too long. However I cannot end without mentioning these three: Sharifah Alawiyah Alhabshi, Nora Yahya and Asya Shuib. They have played a pivotal role in my life these last few years and I just cannot thank them enough with words or deeds. I am so blessed to have you as much more than friends. Thank you. 


Thank you all, and Happy, HAPPY Birthday, Ahmad Cendana.