An Nisaa - I am Woman

This is Sepet. Sepet is a homeless cat. He is lean and mean, with old scars and new cuts and  scratches all over his face and body. These are possibly remnants of past fights and struggles to get bits of food from wherever he could get himself to, in order to survive. And he smelt bad, really bad.

Sepet decided to occupy the territory which was once dominated by Bob, another homeless cat who got his meals from a few houses within our street. Unlike Sepet, Bob is sweet, adorable and docile, and handsome with beautiful green eyes. When Sepet invaded his territory, they fought violent and ferocious battles, often leaving chunks of fur and blood all over the floor.  

Finally, gentle Bob conceded, and was forced to build his new territory further down the road. I was terribly upset by this. Not only did Sepet antagonise Bob, he also terrorised Kenny, my pet Burmese. When she gets upset, she shows it by excreting just about anywhere in the house. With his presence around the house, Kenny had stopped coming downstairs and seemed nervous, hesitant and jumpy. She'd even growl when I tried to pick her up.

With Sepet spraying his pee in various places around the house to signify and establish his territory, things were getting very unpleasant, and needless to say, the odour was unbearable. Being a street cat, Sepet's survival skills are excellent. Sepet would dart into the house at lightning speed, or very silently sneak in depending on the situation. He can open the sliding door and the heavy paneled windows, and occasionally I would find him sleeping on the dining room chair. 

I had had enough. I was set on catching Sepet to send him away to SPCA. Until one day, my husband looked at Sepet, then solemnly at me and said, "Sepet is so thin you can see his rib cage. He behaves in such a way because he's very hungry. I know how that feels."

I know how that feels...I was stunned and went cold. I felt my heart become heavy like a stone in my chest. Then I cried. And cried and cried. I cried for my husband's past, I cried  for Sepet, I cried for all the other hungry people and animals in the world who go for days without food and a home. And even when I write this, I am continuing to cry. 

I  immediately regretted my actions and felt ashamed of myself. How could I have been so heartless? My anger with Sepet over what he had done to Bob and Kenny got the better of me and had clouded my good sense. 

I started seeing Sepet in a different light and started feeding him. In the beginning, he would distance himself from me as I approached him. He even hissed at me if I tried to get too close. While he ate, he'd keep looking up and around him. I can't be sure if it was to make sure there were no other cats coming for his food, or to be sure that there wasn't anyone who might chase him away or worse, beat him. 

A few days later, I noticed that Sepet had started to come and actually ask politely for his food. He stopped sneaking in, and would sit patiently outside the front door meowing instead. He would only attempt to come in if I am late in serving his meal. He would still hiss when I bring down his plate to him, but he appeared to be less fearful of and less hostile towards me. 

In less than two weeks after I started feeding him, Sepet would brush against my leg as I bring his plate out. The hissing stopped completely, and he'd even let me stroke him. He would even let me treat a deep gash on his ear. Kenny too was more relaxed when she saw him, and occasionally the both of them would sit at the porch, while keeping a safe distance between each other.

By the time I'm writing this, Sepet is totally comfortable with me. He'd drop to the ground purring and stretching at my feet, and sometimes even playing a little.  But having lived as a stray, he can't help but still have natural tendencies to misbehave. Often, he'd break into the house through the windows at nights.  When he does, and when we catch him, we don't need to chase him out or even say anything. He would casually walk down the stairs and head towards the door to be let out. Sepet in not just street-smart, he is also very intelligent.

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It must be two years since I wrote this post, but never completed it and published it until now. I'm not sure why I never finished it. But since having recovered, well almost recovered from a long illness, I felt the urge to open this blog again. Kenny and Bob have since passed on to a new life, and Sepet has left the house. I haven't seen him in a while.

I have a few other posts written halfway actually, but decided to complete this particular one. Because I kinda miss Sepet, and often wonder how he's doing. He has left a huge lesson for me, a lesson to always be kind and compassionate to every being, regardless of how they treat us or what they've done to us or how they behave. My tears continue to flow for Sepet and all the hungry ones out there.  



 

A brand new day, a brand new year, and a brand new eye.

It's the first day of 2017 and it's a good reason to make an entry in this almost-abandoned blog. It's been a busy year, but a very limited vision was the main reason I was not writing as much as before, as much as I wanted to.

On 21 December, 2016, I received a new lens in my right eye. I had gone through an emergency operation to remove the cataract that had become thick and dense, and which had led to acute glaucoma. The eye has fluid going in an out through a "drain" but due to the cataract, it was blocked causing pressure to build up. The result is intense pain and discomfort due to the tension. The pain had caused my systolic blood pressure to hit 208. Tests done by the doctors-on-call later showed that the pressure in my right eye was 60 against a normal pressure of 20.

My right eye before the removal of the cataraxt which was very visible. According to Dr. Haliza, it is usually sparsed but mine was centred at the pupil of the eye. The doctors in HUKM believed that the severity and the speed the cataract had progressed could have been induced by an injury or trauma. Their suspicion was correct - .I had, a couple of times at least, accidentally sprayed very high pressure water from a rubber tube directly to the eye while working at the bee farm.

I had been advised to go to the Emergency section of the Hospital University Kebangsaan Malaysia (HUKM) by my optometrist friend, Asoc. Prof. Dr. Haliza Mutalib. I had lamented to her that the brief and mild pain which had started just a day before, had become consistent and more intense since dzuhr that day. I must say that Dr. Haliza was my primover when I was in that vulnerable situation. When I had visited her for a check-up earlier, she had told me the bad news that I couldn't wait any longer, I had had to get the cataract removed immediately. She had referred me to the top specialist in HUKM, but due to the large number of cases, I only managed to secure an appointment in mid-January. But my eye couldn't wait...the cataract had to be removed immediately and I was put on top of the prioroty list for surgery, but the pressure in the eye had to be reduced first.

I'm so thankful for the love and support I received during this time, especially from my only daughter Marzia who doted on me while runnng around with errands. My husband and son were not there physically but I had felt their strength throughout. My sisters, sisters-in-law, nieces, uncles, aunties and cousin had made time to visit at the hospital, and made me feel so blessed.

I was given medication through IV which only reduced the pressure a little, in addition to some oral medication. On the second day I was given the oral glycerol and after two doses of this ultra-sweet substance that is used to draw fluid from the eye through osmosis, the ocular tension drastically reduced and I was quickly put on the operation table. Because of Dr. Haliza's reaasuarances and confidence in the HUKM doctors. I actually found myself looking forward to the surgery. The loss of vision had made me quite miserable the last few months.

If you look carefully, you'll see a figure sitting by my bed while I was almost oblivious to my surrounding. I'm not sure if it was because of the pain or the medication I was given. That's Dr. Haliza, the first person to visit me while in hospital. She knew the type of pain I was in, and had massaged my head which gave me so much relief. Just her presence was such a big relief.

Dr. Haliza was so right about the opthamologists and doctors in HUKM. I must say they were very profesional, even the Medical Officers. The nurses too were so attentive, helpful, efficient and kind. The service was at par with private hospitals and facilities, being a teaching hospital, I believe are no match. I was put through various tests and checked by three doctors at least each time, but I didn't mind being a case subject.

I am now recuperating and my vision is slowly but surely improving day by day. I was in denial and was hoping that the cataract could be treated like other diseases without having to go through surgery. It couldn't.

The Zain Ahmed sisters celebrating Merdeka Day like only they know how! How proud and happy we felt to be Malaysians...and sisters.

Being a future beneficiary of a (small) piece of land in the majestic state of Kelantan, I began to feel I finally belong here. I have always loved Kelantan, but having been born and living in KL and Selangor all my life, there was nothing much to attach myself to it save for some relatives remaining. Suddenly I feel an immense sense of pride and belonging, and I wanted to do something special for the coming Merdeka Day.

And I wanted to do it in style. I wanted to capture the moment for us, my sisters and for our children and grandchildren and great, grandchildren to see and remember. Wednesday the 26th of August, the second day we were in Kelantan, my sisters and I had dressed up in traditional Malay fashion and...we made it happen. The sweetest and most memorable gathering of four Zain Ahmed sisters at the site of a Sultan's palace. No less.

This is Istana Jahar, once the home to DYMM Sultan Ahmad  ibni Almarhum Sultan Muhammad II (Sultan Bibir Merah).  This information was provided by a Facebook friend from  the Kelantan Royal family, KijangMas Perkasa.  The Sultan was his great, great, great grandfather.  This beautiful Istana is in immaculate condition  and has now been turned into the Muzium Adat Istiadat DiRaja Kelantan.

From left, Yan, me, Prof. Azni and Datin Aimi with Nik Azhan, our first cousin who knows most about all the plots of land belonging to our late grandfather Hj. Ahmad. He must have been quite influential here; a stretch of road in Kadok was gazetted as Selekoh Haji Ahmad after him.

My grandfather Hj Ahmad. This picture was taken by my late father. I carry his name in mine.

Some beautiful images taken by Amirul Hilmi Ariffin of my kampung.

A caricature of the four of us by a very witty uncle of ours whom we affectionately call Ayoh Mae. It's a depiction of the scene we created when the leeches started coming, according to his imagination.

 

 

   

Abang, you're not going to see the stars you know...

This was the first ever expedition of this sort and we were not about to miss this historical event!

Marzia was thrilled when Prof. Dr. Shamsul from UMT handed her a pair of Nikon binoculars. Enough already Adik, it's time to move on!

Aiman had pretty much summed up my feelings during the Bukit Kor expedition in his Instagram. I had not been aware that he was observing and watching over me. I had not realised his serious concern over my condition. I had not expected him to take notice of my smiles. I had not seen that my happiness was really important to him. 

Little did Aiman know that I was also nursing  chronic inflammation of the skin on both my feet due to excessive sweating during farming. :-)

I had not imagined that my son has taken over the responsibility of being the caretaker. I guess like most moms, I had thought that I had to always be the one looking out for the children and taking care of them till the day I die. And like most moms, although they are full grown adults, they would forever remain as our babies.

Aiman's words had brought tears to my eyes, and of course the compulsion to write this entry. I can't help but sense there's some pride in him that his mom had accomplished completing the course. These are but little things, but they give me enormous strength and desire to forge ahead and take on bigger challenges in my life. They are the precious gems that are priceless to me, and I cherish them more than anything else in this world.

It wasn't planned. I had been culturing stingless bees since July 2014 but they were not producing honey in their toppings where we could harvest them. It was only in February this year that we finally had enough to share with family and close friends from the inaugural harvest. And then extremely hot weather hit many places in the country and production was down again.

Finally, last week, we had collected enough honey to barely pack in four bottles. Yes, four...not exactly a production roll but it's a start, hehe! I had put a lot of thought into the labels that was going to grace my bottles of precious honey, and with input from the husband and my partners, we finally decided on a design. That was two days ago and I thought, okay, so what would be the best date in the nearest future to launch this?

I nearly flipped. My heart skipped a beat. I could feel the adrenaline rushing...it was scary too. I hadn't decided on the date earlier, couldn't. Plan I did, but that's as far as you can go. With bees...they call the shots. They decide when.

So here it is...the grand launching of the product from my wonderful, beloved meliponines...



on the 1st of April, 2015!!!




If the first three incidences (which I had written about in my earlier posts) on the first day of April are anything to go by, then I really hope that Bilut Valley Bee Farm honey will sustain and become a name to reckon with some day. The farm now has about sixty hives of which only half are ready for honey production. A good number to culture for commercial production would be a hundred, but there is already a waiting list of customers wanting to taste this very delectable honey which is less sweeter than most. It's tangy with a tinge of fruitiness, and will vary according to the nectar the bees forage on. But what's more important, meliponine honey is scientifically proven to contain a very large amount of antioxidants and has very good anti-bacterial properties. (Update: As of 30 April 2015, by the grace of Allah SWT, we now have a hundred hives at the farm.)



This is indeed a dream that really has come true. I have a few people that I am so grateful to, for without their support, this would certainly not have happened. My sweet sister Datin Aimi and her husband who has generously allowed us the use of his land and facilities, and a dearest friend who wants to be known as only Gee, I am forever indebted to the both of you. My children Aiman, Marzia and stepson Ayen and of course, my husband who believed in me and supported me all the way.

I must also mention people who have contributed by making doa' for me, Kak Yan and Ustaz Prof. Shahrin, and my eldest sister Prof. Azni and aunt Datin Prof. Rahimah who gave strong support and encouragement to start this project.

Praises to Allah, Who has shown that He listens, He provides and He guides. This is a mission accomplished. This is a promise fulfilled.